What to do???
Not sure what to do with some of my finished work. One, I can dump it on this site for free….oh, yeah. Two, I could continue the Literary agent hunt, which I wish I could use a shotgun for like a bear hunt. (I don’t really hunt.) Three, I could send to publisher who accept unsolicited work….all three of them. Not sure what to do!!!!!
One of the finished works is a western. It’s hard to believe, but no one seems to want westerns. I have a Victorian age/Gilded age mystery fantasy novel and I have….I have several others. The question is – give it away for free, or keep banging my head against the wall trying to get published?
Inspiration
I have set as my desktop background a black and white photo of Richard Burton on the set of Night of the Iguana. He is holding up a cross with his two hands in front of his face, so that only his eyes, which seem to be burning with a spiritual intensity, are seen and he seems to be saying to God: I dare you to save me!!!!!
This is how I feel about writing.
Post scriptus….
I find those first few days after finishing a manuscript the hardest. The excitement of finishing is over and the dread of editing and rewriting then seeking representation are about to begin. You are sure you have a book worthy to sell, yet a voice deep inside you is whispering ever so lightly – try again.
A teacher, actually he was a jesuit which makes him a teacher, a philosopher and a minor sadist, once told me that you have to write all the bad out of your system before you get to the good. I keep wondering when that is going to happen in my case. Soon, I hope, very soon.
Playoffs???
Yes, it is NFL playoffs time. My latest book is finished, first draft that is, but I am not ready yet to start sending out queries to literary agents. This means I can watch the playoffs with a clear mind and no guilt, at least for now. In time the mind will cloud and the guilt will return, but until then — go team.
Book Genre
Here’s the problem: every book has a genre, sub genre, sub genre niche et al. So I just finished the first draft of a book set in the Victorian Age New York, our Gilded Age, that has a detective, werewolf, secret society, and a mix of historical and fictional characters. What is its genre? Historical fantasy??? Historical detective fantasy??? Confused??? I’m just not sure.
Finishing a book!
Often rejections obscure the reason you write. They chip away at your ego, your talent, your sense of worth, until you start thinking you have wasted reams of paper and time. Then you begin a new work. At first, it is arduous, a duty more than a vocation, then the flow of writing, character taking shape, and plot sweep you up and you forget about the rejections and just think of the work. You are suddenly surprised that one character became a hero while another ended up far more interesting than you meant. It is life giving and gives a little sense to your life in an absurd world. Then you finish the book. It’s done and you aren’t filled with dread at having to find it a home, but you are elated that it finished. Rejections will come later – they always do – but for now you have finished a novel and you need to care for it, edit it, and give it final shape, and all those wasted hours don’t feel wasted… at least for now.
Final footbal scores and rejection letters
Although this should be a no brainer, I’m not sure which I regret more: a loss by my favorite football team or a rejection letter. Yes, this seems silly, even immature, since a rejection letter effects my life far more than my favorite team losing, but I have come to expect the rejections, not the losses. When I send off fifteen queries, I usually recieve six form letters, two real letters, one I wish I could help you but don’t give up, and the rest is silence. But when I check the score of my favorite team, I am optimistic and hopefully. I lost those qualities towards my novels and getting an agent years ago. Hell, I think if I ended up with the Broadway Danny Rose of literary agents at this point, I’d be happy. Now that is lowering ones expectations.
New Year, New New
So we have a new year… what is in store. First, I’ll be adding chapters 2 and 3 for Samhain soon for those who are interested. Eventually, the whole thing will be there. Hip hip naayyy, I don’t have the energy. Next, I need to start the damned agent search anew. I have finished a YA, MG novel which is about the search for a new Arthur for our age. I also finished a Victorian era fanatasy based in New York City. Yeah, more emails and snail mail to potential agents, more execuses — my list is full, I don’t have the enthusiasm, I liked it but…! Can someone, anyone, remind me why I do this? Hello, anybody out there. Hello????
What level of Hell would Dante place Literary Agents?
Is there anything worse than an agent requesting works from you, has a policy that they will get back to you in no more than 10 weeks, and 15 weeks later you are still waiting to hear from them. Part of you wants to email them and tell them to sit on the manuscript after balling it up into a nice tight cylinder; while another part of you, that better angel, convinces yourself that they just need those extra weeks because they are so impressed by your writing. I hate literary agents, but damn if I do not want one!
Frustrated Writer
The letter arrives from the literary agent. First thing you do is judge its size, too light for a contract, so it must be a letter and a letter means – rejection! Dear Mr. Fill in the blank I’m not enthusiastic enough about your project blah, blah, blah. Your heart sinks, stomach twists because you are sure that if someone published this book, people would read it. Maybe not JK Rowling numbers but people. So, you try again.
Of course, that is my favorite kind of rejection – I am not enthusiastic about the project. My least favorite kind of rejection compliments me on my writing skills then tells me that project either doesn’t suit them or they have too many clients at the moment, so they are going to pass on my project. Even worse than that one is the literary agent, I’ve found English literary agents to be this way, who will actually comment on your writing and mean it. Imagine being turned down because the subject matter is too American. What happened to one world government?
So this blog is not my revenge because revenge would mean I’d be depositing a nice check in the bank and my book was on some bestsellers list, but it is my revolt. This revolt starts by me putting one of my many completed projects on this blog one chapter at a time in the hopes that someone finally reads it. The project is called Samhain. It started as a YA, or was it MG, fantasy genre that I thought had potential to be enjoyed by more than just kids. I wrote it when my son was five; he’s now eleven. It has a secret school, vampires, those who fight for good, and the minions of evil and more. What it doesn’t have is an agent, a publisher or an audience, so here is the prologue and first chapter. The rest will follow along with my meanderings.
Meanderings of a Frustrated Writer 